Marriage Advice

Click below to find some free practical advice to save your marriage, stop your separation or end your marriage problem.

• Marriage advice - saving your marriage
• Dealing with specific marriage problems
• Improving your marriage
• Couple in crisis? - save your relationship!
• Marriage separation advice
• Marriage counselling
• Dealing with marriage breakdown

Marriage advice - Saving your marriage

I'll be cruel to be kind to start with here.

Is it the right thing to do to save your marriage?

I know that wouldn't be the kind of question you'd get if you went to a marriage guidance counsellor. But my main aim is not to keep marriages together. It's to keep good marriages together and to let the people in bad marriages be happy and often this means separating.

If saving your marriage is the only thing you want to do, then please, read about getting marriage help, improving your marriage or dealing with specific marriage problems.

However, if you want to know whether your relationship is really worth saving then I suggest you read through the advice I give on compatibility (the real key to great relationships) and finding your ideal partner (I know you're not looking, but the principles of compatibility involved in finding a partner help you in deciding whether to stay with one too).

Even if you feel affronted by the suggestion that you should consider whether saving your relationship is the right thing to do, I urge you to do so.

If you come to the conclusion that it is worth saving, it's only going to make your resolve to save your marriage even stronger. And if you come to the conclusion that it's not worth saving, it's going to save you and your partner years more pain, animosity and arguments.

Dealing with a specific marriage problem

There's a whole relationship advice section you can refer to, to address some of your most common relationship problems.

If you're dealing with specific issues around arguing, communication, trying to relight the passion or romance, then visit the relationship advice for couples section. You'll find articles and guidance there specifically targeted at helping you to resolve those issues

Improving your marriage

There are two ways of improving your marriage. There's the proactive way and the reactive way.

By being proactive I mean taking positive actions to improve your relationships. Adding more romance back into your relationship. Learning how to relight the fire or the passion that you once had for each other.

The reactive way (and there's certainly meant to be no negative connotations here) is to identify where your specific problems lie and tackle them.

Personally I recommend doing both.

Why?

Because relationship and marriage issues often arise because of a specific problem that needs to be identified and resolved (like the inability to communicate your feelings in a neutral way), but taking the first steps to resolve a problem between the two of you is very much easier if you're making an effort to improve the quality of your relationship first. Trust me, your partner will notice and be just that slight bit more open to dealing with the difficult problems to come.

Marriage separation advice

Of course, you may be in the sorry position where your marriage is too far gone and you're looking for separation advice.

If you want advice on the legal issues and processes, the who gets what, I'm really not the expert there. It's time to turn to a lawyer.

However there's a whole other side of separation and the emotional trauma surrounding the break up of someone you've loved deeply and possibly still do love. The potentially massive bust ups, the anger about how it ever got to this stage. The feelings of inequality over who gets what. Not to mention your guilt and worry around the impact on your children should you have any.

Honestly, those issues are far too complex to do justice to in articles on a website. The best way of dealing with that is either coaching or counselling.

Coaching and marriage counselling

I trained as a counsellor many years ago and more recently in a much more effective relationship therapy. If you want marriage counselling contact me to see if I can help and if I can't I'll refer you to someone who can.

The bulk of my work now is individual coaching on determining whether your relationship is worth saving and assisting you to save it by taking practical action yourself.

There are several coaching options you can consider. Or if you're not sure whether you'd benefit most from coaching or counselling, feel free to contact me and I'll help you determine which you'll get most benefit from.

Dealing with marriage breakdown

If you've already separated but are struggling to come to terms with the breakdown of your marriage again the issues you're dealing with are probably very complex.

I'd suggest contacting me to discuss your options or even any relationship coach if you'd like help in dealing with your anger, fears and grief.

I don't believe there's anything more painful in a relationship than going through a break up with someone you loved dearly. There's no need to go through it alone.

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